Prologue: I Must Be Tripping

Candace Flynn awoke hunched over a cold desk.

Did I fall asleep during class? Wait… Why am I in school? Isn’t it still summer?

She looked around the classroom. It wasn’t one she recognized. Aside from a few tacky educational posters, the atmosphere was incredibly drab. Candace shakily got to her feet.

How long was I asleep?

She scanned the area for an exit and noticed someone talking to herself in front of the door.

“You can do this. They’re just people, like you… Except maybe that angly cat. But other than that, they’re all just-“

“HEY!”

“AAUGH!” The strikingly pale girl swung her body around, reflexively taking a defensive stance.

“Y- You’re awake!”

“Of course I’m awake,” Candace said, marching toward her. “Tell me. What are my brothers up to this time?”

“Your brothers? I don’t even know who you are!”

Candace stopped herself from shaking the truth out of her, because she already seemed pretty shook.

“How did I get here? What’s going on?”

“How the heck should I know? Wait… I actually know a few things. Check your pocket.”

Candace obeyed and pulled a small device from her skirt. “My phone?”

“No, it’s- I mean, yes, it’s a phone, but it’s like… not yours.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” Candace replied. “Is it yours?”

“No, I got my own phone. I think they gave one to everybody.”

“They? Who?”

“I dunno! The freaks who kidnapped us!”

Her outburst took Candace aback.

Kidnapped? I was… No! I went to sleep just like any other day! They would’ve had to break into my house, sneak past my family… And for what? Just to bring me to some school? It doesn’t make any sense…

“Uh, are you okay, Candace? You’re awfully deep in thought… which isn’t a bad thing! I was just hoping we could-“

“Oh! Sorry. I was just thinking about…” Candace trailed off, then glared at her. “How do you know my name?”

“Ack! I didn’t… I didn’t say anything,” the pale girl stammered, flailing her arms out in front of her.

Once it was clear Candace wasn’t buying it, her façade collapsed. She let out a heavy sigh. “I… looked at your Monophone.”

“My what?”

“The thing in your hand,” she replied. “It says ‘Monophone’ when you turn it on, so I figured that’s what it’s called.”

Candace pressed its large, oddly-shaped button, and the screen illuminated with a harsh glow.

“You can lower the brightness in the settings,” the pale girl interjected, helplessly trying to help.

Candace didn’t hear her; she was too focused the screen display.

My height? Weight? Blood type? And… chest? What do these have to do with anything?

She swiped the screen.

Things I like, things I dislike… and they’re all correct? Where did they get this information?

Candace glanced up at the other girl, who had a nervous smile on her face. “You saw all this?”

“Uh… I mean, yeah, but I already forgot, like, half of it,” she sputtered, looking at the floor and rubbing her neck. She glanced back at Candace, who clearly wasn’t convinced. “H- Here! You can take mine, so it’s fair,” she blurted, shoving her own Monophone into Candace’s free hand.

Candace opened the other girl’s Monophone, revealing her personal information. “So, your name’s Jaiden?”

“No, it’s Kilroy,” the pale girl replied. Candace stared blankly back at her. “…It- It’s a joke,” Jaiden explained.

Candace ignored her and continued reading. “Hmm… you like parrots, huh?”

“Look, it’s kind of embarrassing if you read it out loud in front of me,” Jaiden admitted.

“Well, there’s nothing suspicious in here anyway,” Candace asserted, giving the Monophone back to its owner.

Jaiden put it back in her pocket. “Uh… Thanks, I guess.”

After staring at each other for a moment, Candace spoke up.

“Okay, there’s a huge elephant in the room that we need to address.”

Jaiden took a step back. “It… It’s not about me, is it?”

“Yes, actually, it is.”

“Oh crud, I didn’t- I swear I didn’t do anything else while you were asleep,” Jaiden blurted, but Candace continued.

“It’s your skin. Why is it so white?”

Candace’s question caught Jaiden by surprise. “Wha- My skin? My skin is normal! If we’re pointing out wildlife, why don’t we talk about the giraffe that is your neck?”

Candace raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Sorry. That sounded a lot better in my head,” Jaiden sighed. “Forget I said anything about your neck.

If you really wanna talk about looks, take one outside this door.”

Candace acquiesced and peered through the tiny gap in the doorframe.

Hey, there’s a bunch of adults out there! One of them is dressed like a scientist… and that one has a mask… and… Ah!

Candace stumbled backward in reaction to what she saw.

Jaiden caught Candace before she hit the ground. “I know, right? What’s up with that weird cat?”

“Wh- Which one?”

“Huh?” Jaiden peered out the door, and had a similar reaction. “Aaugh! There’s THREE of them now?”

Candace began pacing around the room. “Are we on an alien planet? A planet where cats and humans coexist? Hey, are you a cat? Do you like parrots because they’re your favorite food?”

“Why are those your first questions? You’ve accepted the existence of cat people surprisingly fast! It took me like eight and a half minutes to calm down from that!”

“Well, I’ve seen weirder things, I guess,” Candace replied.

“You have? Seriously?”

“Yeah, but never at school. Only during the summer, like when my obnoxious brothers sent me to space, or sent me back in time, or sent me to the center of the-“

“Wait, wait, wait. Slow down for a second,” Jaiden interrupted. “You’ve been to space?”

“A few times, actually.”

“And you’ve traveled back in time?”

“Yes. Were you not listening?”
“Candace! Why didn’t you stop 9/11? Or the Holocaust?!”

“The what?”

“Oh crap,” Jaiden panicked. “This is bad. Really bad. I think you’re from a different reality or something. Oh god… Oh frick… The TikTokers were right all along! We’ve shifted to another dimension!”

“Oh yeah, I’ve done that too,” Candace replied. “Thanks for reminding me.”

“HOW ARE YOU NOT FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW?”

“Well, sooner or later, my brothers will swoop in and erase any trace of this happening, just before Mom shows up,”

andace explained. “That is, unless… Eheeheheehehee…” Candace giggled to herself as she opened her Monophone.

“Uh, Candace? What are you doing?”

“If I take a picture of those weird cats, it’ll prove to Mom I’m not crazy! And if my brothers are behind this, they’re gonna be SO busted!”

“I- I think your priorities are a little out of order,” Jaiden replied. “We should focus on finding a way out of here.

referably with as little social interaction as possible… Hey, where are you-? Hey! Stop!”

Candace ignored her, rushing through the door and into the hall. She giggled maniacally as she took selfies with the strange strangers in the background.

“Lookie here, we’ve got the Ultimate, fucking, Snapchatter, or some shit,” the scientist announced before loudly burping. “So who’d you get paired up with? A Redditor?”

“Actually, I’m a YouTuber,” Jaiden mumbled, slinking out of the classroom.

“Ooh, impressive,” the scientist cooed. He burped again. “I bet that’s extremely fulfilling.”

“Quiet, Sanchez. The last thing we need right now is sass,” the redhead ordered.

“Yes. It appears that in the context of social graces, even I have you beat,” the guy in a green shirt added.

“Shut the fuck up, Sheldon,” the scientist struck back, emphasizing his name as if that in itself was an insult.

“Come on, everyone! Stop fighting,” the blocky pink cat pleaded, one eye twitching. “We’re friends, right? Can’t we all just get along?”

“Yeah! Stress is bad for your looks,” the blonde added.

While the larger group continued bickering, and Candace continued documenting evidence for a bust, Jaiden approached the two orange cats standing near the wall. “So, uh… mice, am I right? Pretty tasty.”

“Eh, I’m more of a lasagna fan myself,” the shorter one replied.

“I prefer seafood, but I suppose a mouse wouldn’t be too bad,” the taller one said.

“Haha, that’s, um… Yep!”

As Jaiden continued giving her all to the conversation, Candace’s rapid-fire photo-taking maxed out her Monophone’s storage. “There! Now all I have to do is keep this phone safe until Mom gets home.

Or, until I get home, I guess,” she declared, turning back toward the others. “Hey, when are we allowed to leave?”

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out,” the redhead replied. “Got any ideas, kid?”

“Not really, but Jaiden woke up before me. Maybe she knows something,” Candace said. She turned to look at Jaiden, who was crawling on the floor for some reason. “…On second thought, she seems kinda busy right now.”

The redhead continued her questioning. “You said she was the Ultimate YouTuber, right?”

“Huh? Oh, I don’t know anything about that. All I got was her name and favorite food,” Candace explained.
“Then what about you, kid? What talent did they assign to you?”

“Talent?”

“Check the second page of your profile. It should say that you’re the Ultimate so-and-so.”

Candace checked her Monophone, and sure enough, the title “Ultimate Buster” was listed. “I’m Candace Flynn, and it says I’m the Ultimate Buster. That’s probably because I spend so much time trying to bust my brothers.”

“Well, Candace, from the look of it, we’re in a pretty rough situation,” the redhead replied. “You can call me Black Widow. I’m the Ultimate Spy…”

“…The scary guy in black goes by Batman. He’s the Ultimate Vigilante.”

The word worried Candace. “He’s a vigilante? So he takes the law into his own hands and kills people?”

“Well, you’re half-right,” Black Widow explained. “He says he doesn’t kill people, and I’m inclined to believe him.”

“Yeah, tell that to Zack Snyder,” the scientist interjected. “Rick Sanchez, Ultimate Genius.”

…Ultimate Genius? He’s joking, right?

As if he knew what she was thinking, Rick took out his Monophone and proved his claim.

Candace pointed at him. “If you’re a super-genius, why don’t you think of a way out of here?”

“I’ll worry about that once this gets boring,” Rick replied, screwing the top off his flask and taking a big swig.

The man in green stepped between them. “My name is Sheldon Cooper. I am the Ultimate Theoretical Physicist. No need to worry; though my field of work is abstract, I myself am quite empirical. Bazinga.”

His statement was met with a long, painful silence.

“No laughter? I see. So intelligence wasn’t a factor in selecting who to abduct,” Sheldon mumbled.

“No, it’s just that your joke wasn’t remotely funny,” Rick said. “Oh, and if you say ‘Bazinga’ one more time, I’ll take a Plumbus and-“

“I’m Barbie, the Ultimate Fashion Model!”

“I’m basically a cultural icon,” she continued, striking a pose.

“Really? I’ve never heard of you,” Candace replied.

“Excuse me? I’ve never heard of you either, bitch!” She punctuated her sentence with an aggressive poke on Candace’s forehead, sending her stumbling backward.

“Well, that didn’t last long,” Rick chuckled. “So much for conflict prevention.”

As Barbie prepared to kick Candace, the blocky pink cat raised her voice. “Barbie? I’m not feeling happy right now. In fact, I’m feeling… the opposite of happy.”

Barbie froze. A look of panic flashed across her face. She spun around, seamlessly transforming that expression into a big smile. “I know why! It’s because you haven’t introduced yourself to Candace yet!”

The world seemed to stop for a moment. Then, the cat’s face lit up. “That’s right! Yay! I am Princess Unikitty! I’m the Ultimate Ruler!”

Candace stood back up. “Ruler? Of what?”

Unikitty was more than happy to answer. “My domain is the Unikingdom! It’s where all my friends live!”

“Yeah, I’ve never heard of that place either,” Candace replied. “We’re definitely in an alternate dimension or something.”

“That was my thought as well,” Black Widow said. “Sanchez claims he can hop between dimensions, but he refuses to tell us how.”

“It’d just go over your head,” Rick replied. “And, since the people who kidnapped us obviously understand interdimensional travel, I doubt they’d be stupid enough to leave the shit I need to make more portal fluid. So we’re stranded for the time being.”

“You seem to know a lot about this,” Candace said. “How do we know you’re not the one who kidnapped us?”

“Who knows? Maybe I did. Though I’d like to think I’d be a bit more creative than ripping off Danganronpa. But then again, I did Saw, so… I guess it depends how hammered I was,” Rick rambled.

Suddenly, Candace felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Uh, Candace?”

She turned around to see Jaiden and the two orange cats.

“I can’t think of any more cat facts,” Jaiden whispered. “The conversation is going downhill fast.”

“Wait. Jaiden, have you just been reciting cat facts to them this whole time?”

“What the frick was I supposed to do?”

“Just talk to them like a normal person!”

“Do you have any idea how difficult that is?!”

“Never mind. I’ll take care of it,” Candace sighed, approaching the cats. “You’ve met Jaiden. I’m Candace. We woke up in that classroom right there.”

“Oh, so her name’s Jaiden,” the taller one noted.

Candace turned around with a bewildered look. “You didn’t even introduce yourself?”

“Sh- Shut up! Unlike you, I’ve never talked to interdimensional beings before!”

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to introduce myself,” the taller cat interrupted. “My name is Hobbes.

According to my Monophone, I’m the Ultimate Philosopher.”

Jaiden tilted her head. “Ultimate Philosopher? What does that mean?”

“From my understanding, a philosopher is someone who does a lot of thinking,” Hobbes explained.

“I know that! I meant, like, what makes you the Ultimate Philosopher?”

“I have no idea. It is simply the title assigned to me by my device.”

“Wait, do I have one too?” Jaiden quickly checked her Monophone. “Whoa, I’m the Ultimate Storyteller? That actually sounds kind of cool!”

“You all have cool talents,” the smaller orange cat grumbled. “I would be jealous, but that seems like a lot of effort.”

“Oh? What’s your talent?”

Jaiden’s inquiry was met with a loud snore.

“Did- Did he fall asleep?!”

“His name is Garfield, and he’s the Ultimate Loafer,” Hobbes explained.

Candace did a quick head count, and sure enough, she knew the names and talents of everyone in the hall.

That makes ten of us. Seven humans, three cats. I woke up in the same room as Jaiden, and everyone else was gathered in the hall when I checked.

…

Wait a minute…

“Did everyone here wake up with someone else?”

Everyone nodded, confirming Candace’s hypothesis.

“So who woke up with who?”

“I woke up with Princess Unikitty,” Barbie said.

“Batman was with me,” Black Widow added.

“Garfield and I were paired together,” Hobbes said.

“I woke up next to this dipshit,” Rick spat, pointing at Sheldon.

“Via process of elimination, they could have figured that out independently,” Sheldon retorted.

“Holy fuck, you’re insufferable,” Rick replied, taking a huge swig of whatever was in his flask.

Just as I thought.

“Don’t you think it’s strange we were all paired up?”

“NooOOot really,” Rick burped. “They had to split us up somehow.”

“No they didn’t,” Candace shot back. “They could have just dumped us all in the hall to start. There must be a reason for pairing us together!”

“That’s certainly possible,” Black Widow said calmly, clearly digesting the thought. “But what could that reason be?”

“Puhuhuhu… Would you like to find out?”

Everyone turned to face the high-pitched voice. A small bipolar bear was standing in the center of the hall, lurking in the darkness. Despite its size, it emanated a threatening aura, primarily due to its jagged red eye and uneven smile.

lthough most of the group was taken aback, the two superheroes stepped forward.

Black Widow held out her arm. “Who are you?”

“Who am I? Why, I’m Monokuma, of course!”

“That’s cute,” she shot back. “Now drop the act and tell us how to leave this place!”

“You wanna leave already? We haven’t even started yet,” Monokuma scoffed, feigning disappointment.

“Started what?”

Her question was met with pause. The bear gleefully took its time before divulging their harsh reality.

“Why, the killing game of course!”

“K- Killing game?”

“Puhuhuhu! Of course! If Monokuma is around, that means it’s a killing game! Ahahahaha!” His chilling laugh froze everyone to their core.

Rick broke the silence. “Seriously? Nobody’s gonna attack him? Not even the latex chick? She was acting all pissy before,” he muttered.

Black Widow glanced back at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, some sucker’s gotta set the tone, and it sure as hell ain’t gonna be me,” Rick replied.

“Now, now; don’t get ahead of yourself,” Monokuma giggled. “You asked why you were paired up.

I’m here to answer that question.”

“There’s a hundred other things I’d be more interested in knowing,” Black Widow interjected.

“Ahem,” Monokuma continued, ignoring her. “Whomever you woke up with is your teammate. You were paired together based on a certain theme. The third page of your profiles just unlocked, so if you look there, you should be able to see what that theme is.” He paused. “Well? Go on! Check!”

Candace and the rest hesitantly opened their Monophones and examined their updated profiles. When Candace checked hers, the label ‘Team Cartoon’ appeared. Candace squinted. “Team Cartoon? That can’t be right. The only cartoons I watch are the Ducky Momo animated extravaganzas!”

“You’re missing out on a wide array of entertainment,” Sheldon replied.

“Shut up, nerd,” Monokuma said. “Anyway, I’m not done with my explanation yet! So you’d all better keep quiet, or heads will roll!”

The bear’s threat shut everyone up.

Monokuma leaned over. “Hey, can the folks in the back hear me? I’m only gonna say all this once!”

“We sure can,” honked a piercing voice. Candace turned to see an extremely tall clown holding a green figure above his head.

“Good,” Monokuma continued. “Basically, the teams are gonna be really important down the line. So don’t let your teammate get themself killed! But right now, they’re not all that important. So it’s okay if your teammate dies.”

“Wait,” Candace said. “Are the teams important or not?”

“Welp, that’s all the help you’re gonna get from me! Now get killing!” Monokuma waved farewell as he moonwalked down the hall.

A long silence followed his exit.

“…So how are we supposed to kill each other? I don’t see any weapons,” Barbie said.

“Barbie! That’s not a friendly thing to say,” Unikitty gasped.

“I- I know! I was just curious,” she sputtered.

Jaiden raised her voice. “Hey, uh… Can we, like, talk about the clown? And the Jolly Rancher?”

“Actually, he’s Sour Patch Kid,” the giant clown explained. “He’s the Ultimate Gummy!”

“Lotta competition for that title,” Rick grumbled.

“Nice to meet you, Sour Patch Kid,” Unikitty exclaimed.

Sour Patch Kid took a look at her, smiled, then jumped into one of the clown’s enormous pockets.

When he emerged, he was wearing an ice cream cone on his forehead. Then he pointed at the unicorn cat and mimed a hearty laugh.

“Hey! Don’t make fun of Unikitty,” Barbie blurted, repeatedly taking nervous glances at her teammate. “What’d she ever do to you?”

“Don’t expect him to respond. He’s a little mute. Pun intended,” the clown honked. “I’m Ronald McDonald, the Ultimate Clown!”

“I hope you can forgive my little friend’s teasing. He’s real nice once you get to know him,” Ronald said.

Candace blinked. “How long have you known each other?”

“Oh, about fifteen minutes now. Sour Patch Kid and I are the main ingredients of Team Food!”

“Ah, that’s right,” Black Widow said. “We should be sharing as much information as possible.

Batman and I are Team Super. Who’s next?”

“Oh, I do believe we should go next,” a frail voice replied.

Everybody turned around. An elderly woman and man in formal clothes stood next to each other.

“Margaret Thatcher, prime minister of the United Kingdom.”

Few paid much attention to her; the rest were too focused on the man beside her.

With complete sincerity, the mustached man loudly announced: “Adolf Hitler, Diktator of Deutschland!”

“Vee compoze Team History!”

Those aware of him had their jaws on the floor. Everyone else was taken aback by his horrendous German accent.
“No goddamn way,” Black Widow said. “Why is a real person the most impossible thing I’ve seen all day?”

“I dunno, maybe because he’s dead? At least, he is in your reality,” Rick said. “He’s dead in mine, too. But in infinitely many other dimensions, he’s still kicking. This guy must be from one of those.”

“So… he’s real?”

“Yep. And since this is, you know, a killing game, I suggest doing the obvious,” Rick continued.

Hitler sneered at him. “…Vaat is zat suppost to mean?”

“Heehee! You talk funny,” Unikitty giggled.

“Hey! Don’t associate with HIM,” Barbie urged, pulling the plastic cat away.

“I do hope you’ll excuse our intrusion,” Margaret said. “But given our prestige, it would be outright criminal to let others speak prior to ourselves.”

“Jesus Christ, you’ve got a crappy accent too,” Rick said, pinching the bridge of his nose. He turned to the ceiling. “You dipshit gamemasters know there are infinitely many universes, right? You didn’t have to stick us with the ones from the bargain bin!”

“We were sharing our team names, correct? Garfield and I are Team Feline,” Hobbes said, politely taking attention away from the controversial politicians.

“Rick and I are Team Science,” Sheldon added. “This is because I’m a theoretical physicist. A theoretical physicist is a scientist who-“

“Barbie and I are Team Plastic,” Unikitty shouted with overwhelming enthusiasm.

“Excuse me,” Sheldon said. “I was in the middle of explaining my profession. It appears none of you have spent as much time studying etiquette as-“

“Wait, hold on,” Candace said. “Why is Barbie in Team Plastic?”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t notice,” Barbie gasped. “How do you think I got my skin this gorgeous smooth?”

“You replaced your skin with plastic? That’s a pretty extreme thing to do for fashion.”

“Emphasis on the pretty,” Barbie giggled. “And besides, I didn’t undergo any surgery. I was born with these looks.”

“You were born made of plastic?”

“My life is plastic,” Barbie laughed. “It’s fantastic!”

“Let’s move on,” Jaiden muttered. “Candace and I are Team Cartoon.”

“Candace already informed us of that fact,” Sheldon said.

“Oh, uh… I knew that. I was just- I just said that in case someone wasn’t listening.”

“What was that about not listening?”

Everyone turned around once more.

Two teenage girls in colorful clothing were standing next to each other. The one holding pom-poms started dancing.

Gimme an ‘S’! Gimme a ‘P’! Gimme an ‘I’ and an ‘R’ and an ‘I’ and a ‘T’! What does that spell? Teeeeeam Spirit!”

“You forgot, like, the first four letters,” Rick dryly pointed out.

The cheerleader paused for a full ten seconds before energetically replying, “Hey! You’re right!”

“Lotta brains in this one,” Rick mumbled.

The other girl gasped. “Lotta did what now?”

“Okay, that’s it. I’m leaving. I can only deal with so much stupid in one day,” Rick declared, boldly walking off into the darkness.

The two newcomers approached the rest of the group. The cheerleader asked, “What was his deal?”

“Just ignore him,” Black Widow said. “You said you were Team Spirit. Are you both cheerleaders?”

“No, I just channel the dead,” the girl in purple clothes replied. “I’m Maya Fey, the Ultimate Spirit Medium!”

Ronald burst out laughing. “Ahaha! You’re on Team SPIRIT because you channel SPIRITS! That’s just too good! Ahaha!”

“Thanks! I’m still in training, though,” Maya replied.

Candace squinted skeptically at the pair. “What took you so long to join up with us?”

“Oh! We had some trouble with the classroom door,” Maya explained. She gave a look toward her partner, who sulked in shame.

“I thought it would be locked,” she pouted.

“But we got out! Eventually,” Maya clarified. “Oh, by the way: what are we doing here?”

“I do believe we’re smack dab in the heart of a killing game,” Margaret replied.

“K- Killing game?!” The cheerleader leaped into the air in fright. When she landed, she struck a pose and beamed. “I’m Cheerleader-san, the Ultimate Support!”

“I like your attitude,” Unikitty cheered.

“I hate your noise,” Garfield yawned as his eyes slowly opened. “What’d I miss?”

Everyone introduced themselves again, then began discussing their situation.

“Monokuma wants us to kill each other, but if we work together, that won’t happen. Nobody’s dying on my watch,”

lack Widow assured.

Barbie scratched her head. “How does he expect us to kill, anyway? Are there weapons somewhere, or…?”

“It’s honestly pathetic,” Sheldon said. “None of you bothered to read the rules. It’s really not that difficult.”

Candace stared blankly at him. “Rules? What rules?”

“If you swipe up on your Monophone, they become visible,” Sheldon explained. “For a teenager, your technological capabilities are quite lacking,” he added.

Candace and the others checked the rules.

RULES:

1: Nobody is allowed to leave the school until the killing game concludes.

2: If you are the first to commit murder, you earn the title of blackened.

3: Some time after a body is found, a class trial will be held, in which you must participate.

4: If the blackened receives the most votes at the end of the trial, they alone will be executed.

5: If the blackened does not receive the most votes, everyone else will be executed instead.

6: If it’s a tie for first, victory goes to the blackened.

7: If the blackened dies, the title is transferred to the next living murderer, if one exists.

8: An individual may only commit a maximum of two murders.

9: After the blackened is executed, the dead are erased, and the killing game is restarted.

“Frick, these rules are confusing,” Jaiden muttered.

“Not really,” Sheldon retorted. “The objective is to become the blackened and survive a class trial.

One can earn the title of blackened by committing murder. Presumably, breaking a rule will lead to execution, as will losing a trial. Therefore, we must participate in this killing game to survive.”

“Dang. If I knew you were gonna explain it, I wouldn’t have wasted all that energy reading,” Garfield moaned.