Chapter 1

It is not a good idea to sit still in a car in such a cold day. Even if the windows are all rolled up and the heater is on full blast, I’m still freezing. So I decide to pull my coat closer to me just to keep my body a bit warmer. I sigh. The cold weather is bad enough, but what’s worse than that is what I have experienced in these days.

My dad who’s sitting next to me clears his throat and tries to break the silence between us.

”Jessica,” he looks at me through the rearview mirror, “I think we could have a talk. You see, I’m sorry for what I’ve done.”

Without giving him any responds, I turn up the volume to my music. I’m not in a mood to talk to him and I’m so tired of his “apologies”. He’s been trying to say “sorry” to me for about a week, and I suddenly find this word disgusting because of him.

I wish I could rush into my mother’s house right now, but unfortunately, I’ll have to wait for another thirty minutes to see her smiley face again. The reason why I’m moving to mom’s house is because my so-called “father” has found a new partner of his life and that new partner wants me out of their house desperately. That bitch’s name is… well, I’d rather call her “Bitchy”. Yeah, let’s just call her Bitchy. Honestly speaking, I don’t want to talk about her anymore. Every time I think of her, her voice and her face pops into my head and they irritate me so much. So, enough about that little bitch.

I chose to live with dad when my parents got divorced because my mother was an senior manager of a huge enterprise. She has to travel place to place all around the year and she hardly has anytime to look after me and my brother. But we still love her, because she supports us financially to chase after our dreams. My dream is to open up a bakery, but my father is strongly against this idea. He wants me to be a lawyer, just like him. And actually, that is one of the reasons why they got divorced.

Suddenly, my phone rings in my pocket. As I pull it out, I see a new massage from Phillips, it reads as follow：

Babe, I miss you so much. I hope you forgive me. I’m truly sorry for what I’ve done, and I just want you to know that I love you. I love you forever and ever.

Holy crap, another word that I shall feel disgusting from now on – love. I roll my eyes, and I feel like I’m on the verge of crying. Another man in my life, and he lets me down as well. Phillips is my ex-boyfriend. I loved him very much. His hair is short, and his eyes are brown. We were together for over two years, and I thought we were going to get married one day. But foolish me, I shouldn’t believe in his love.

• Flashback *

I was heading towards Phillips’ house to complain about how my “father” chose Bitchy over me. Dad just told me this news this morning. I was furious and my tears kept rolling down my face. I turned into Phillips’ street and soon, I saw a car parking in front of his house. That car belongs to my best friend, Jolene. What is she doing here? I can’t help but wonder.

I went into his house without knocking like I usually do. I headed directly towards Phillips’ bedroom but then, I heard crying and moaning coming from his room, I was shocked. I knew that voice very well. It’s from Jolene.

At that moment, I feel like the entire world has turned against me. Within twenty-four hours, everyone I loved has left me. I could literally hear my heart breaking. But it was not the time to think about that. I quickly pulled myself together and smashed the door open. They turned to look at me, frozen.

“Why did you guys stop?” I as sarcastically, “You guys haven’t had enough, have you?”

Speechlessly, they started to look for their clothes which were thrown all over the floor. I picked up Jolene’s bra and threw it at her.

“Hey, you might want to use this, little bitch.”

“Jessie, listen to me, it’s a misunderstanding, it’s not…”

Before Phillips could finish, I rolled up my eyes and interrupted him.

“Oh, yeah, let me have a guess.” I said in a dramatic tone, “You guys wanted to know each other better, so you got onto the bed, right?”

Jolene has been quiet all the time. She was looking at the floor as she always did when she was scared. I turned to look at her.

“I can’t believe it, Jolene. We’ve been friends since we were 7!” I shouted at her, “I don’t want to see your ugly face ever again!”

I turned around, walked out of the house. Phillips kept calling my name, but his words were trash to me from now on.

• End of Flashback*

I used to be a happy girl, a care-free girl, a girl who thought that love was the purest thing in the world. I used to go to parties, make new friends, and do the unimaginable things. But now, I’m left with sad and dull. I prefer to stay at home, watching TV programme which I used to think boring, eating ice creams and trying to avoid socialising as much as possible. And most importantly, I will never believe in love again.