Chapter 3

To go to the afterlife a ghost must find a body of water.

The body of water has to be large enough for you to see the place where the clear line of where the sky meets the earth. Ghosts love the ocean for this. Even I love the beach despite having  aquaphobia. I think it’s a dead thing.

So, once you find that body of water you walk into it with the intentions of leaving. Jess told me that you will feel fuzzy as your body goes deeper into the ocean waves. With each step, you disappear more and more until you’re nothing at all. Once you completely disappear, you’ll wake up in the afterlife apparently.

Jess gets all her information from a probably dead librarian in a burned down library. They have all sorts of books that we can touch and smell. I have never gone because all the books ironically revolve around the dead and I usually like to avoid the fact that I’m dead.

Usually.

I sigh, raising my gaze from the sidewalk. My eyes trail across the block as I walk down my street to talk to Jess. I walk faster when I get the house right next to mine. I hate seeing that house. I have so many memories there. My first kiss, my first date, and so many other firsts.

But Jason got a new girlfriend now.

I was going to marry him. He was so nice and comforting to me. Jason was never mean, never pressuring, and never jealous. We liked each other since kindergarten but never talked until we got to highschool. He had these big brown eyes and dreadlocks like my mother. I fell for him hard.

When we got accepted into different colleges, he bought me a promise ring. He told me that he’d marry me once we get money. I would do my teacher thing and he would do his business thing. I was so happy with the thought that I nearly died before actually dying.

Jason and Tyler are the two people that grieved for me the most. Tyler didn’t go out of his house except for necessities for a year. Jason didn’t date anyone for three. Now that they’re moving on, it makes me feel unwelcome. It makes me feel selfish for staying. Everyone is moving except for me.

I turn the corner with a heavy silent heart.

The breeze works against my sundress making it flow in the wind. I let my hair down this morning to change things up a bit. When people start to accumulate on my side of the street, I don’t even bother to move like I do. I just let them walk through me.

Soon, I smell that salty aroma and the smell of churros. I have made it to the beach walk. Jess isn’t in her husband’s flower shop on Sundays. She likes to go to church on Sundays. The sermon has long finished so she’ll be outside of the seaside catholic church.

I amble my way down from the wooden plank sidewalk to the sand and there she is. She’s crouched over with a frustrated face. Jess is trying to make a sandcastle but she can’t grasp the sand. I go over to her before she bursts into tears.

“Hey,” I say.

She lifts her face and exposes her tear stained cheeks. “I can’t do this anymore, Anwen. I really can’t. My kids called her mom today,”

Jess starts to sob again. I reach over her taking her in my embrace. She clutches onto me because I am the only thing she can hold. Her tears soak my yellow floral dress.

“I am so happy but so sad at the same time. She is such a wonderful woman. A wonderful wife too, but it still hurts. Am I crazy for thinking that?”

I run my hand through her straight red hair. “It’s not crazy. I feel the same way. My family is moving away. It’s confirmed,”

She stays silent.

“My brother is moving with my parents to Connecticut. My boyfriend is going back to UCLA with his new girlfriend. I felt so jealous and you know that I hate being jealous. I hate all these awful feelings,” I tell her.

“Why was my life taken away? Why is everyone living the life that I was supposed to have? I know you died of natural causes but I know you feel the same way. Why can’t we be happy?” I ask.

“We can be,” she whispers.

She closes her eyes and wraps her hand around my waist. “I’ve read the book of the dead. They say that the currents cleanse your sorrows before you enter them pearly gates. I think whatever we face on the other end will be better than this place.”

“What if we go to hell?”

“We won’t,”

“How do you know?”

“I just know,”

Jess sniffles before sitting up straight. “You want to get a churro? I saw a cute couple drop some on the sidewalk.”
“Really?” I say, getting up.

We walk hand in hand to see the last place she saw it.

“I haven’t had a churro in ages,” I say.

“There it is! Oh, they dropped two ice cream cones too!”

We pick up the objects that transferred from the living world to our world of the in-between. The ice cream is a bit melted but it’s alright. The churros are in perfect condition. We walk to the shore line and sit enjoying our prize.
Jess looks over her shoulder. “Are you alright being this close to the water?”

“Yes, it’s fine. I can stand the ocean,”

“Oh, okay,”

We gobble up our food like we could actually feel hunger. The sun begins to set making the sky a canvas full of colors. The sun rays illuminate Jess’s pale porcelain skin. She closes her eyes and lets her hair out of her ponytail.
I think long and hard before I speak.

I recline letting my back hit the surface of the sand. “Jess?”

“Yeah,”

“Give me until my family moves,”

“Okay? For what?”

“For moving on,”

Her eyes snap open and a smile graces her lips. “Moving on?”

“Yeah, I’m taking you up on your offer. I am getting sick of this place. I don’t like being selfish or being green with envy. I just want a chance to be myself again. Even if it’s one in a billion, I want that chance,”

Jess nods and plops down on her back. “Well, we’ll take that chance together,” She gives me her pinky and I take it with my own.

“Together,”

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I swear it’s hard to find depressing photos of  Yara. She literally has resting angel face.