Chapter 5

The dream I had last night- the nightmare kept panging in my mind. As I lay in bed thinking about it, I was wondering if it was a nightmare, or was I supposed to remember it for a reason? I ran my fingers over the soft black silk comforter and sighed, this is reality I am in right now.

I had to remind myself that I will never be in that position again, I mean how often does it happen to the same person? One in ever one hundred. I always have this reminder in the back of my mind, that no matter what I do, I can never take back what they stole from me.

My mom, dad, sister, everyone I loved and cared about. I wondered how the rest of the pack was, were they still alive?
A stressed sigh escaped my lips, and ran my fingers over my eyes. I have to get ahold of myself. Of course they’re fine, I don’t need to worry, they’re not my pack anymore.

I continue to try to get over the fact that I am supposed to be a Luna. How am I going to do such a thing? I mean, I’m terrified, not only because of what had happened to me, but my social anxiety. What kind of Luna would I be? I mean I can always reject Josh so I won’t have to take the responsibility, but I could never do that. But maybe, just maybe I could live a happy life ever after?

My heart almost broke in two thinking about it. What if I wouldn’t be good enough and he abandoned me? What would happen to me? I shook the thoughts from my mind and tried to focus on my wolf.

As I asked myself these questions, I thought of my grandmother, and her wrinkled smile. “The sun sees your body, but the moon sees your soul” she always described mates like that. The moon goddess had brought Me and Josh together because maybe, just maybe he could see through my shell. And maybe everyone else could only see how I acted.
I have to be strong. I can’t let anything break me, and maybe Josh can see right past that. I’ll never know though, I am not him. Oh wait, speaking of which I should see right through him, but…

Shaking my head, I disappointedly laughed at myself. If only he knew how I felt. It feels so empty inside, but yet I needed it to be empty, and yet it’s a painful sadness that I cannot explain. I stared at my arms quietly, and cringed. A few light scars were written on my wrists, and to think before I was taken I thought I had a bad life. Those girls in that dungeon had it worse than me, and I was too selfish to think that I had it bad.

There’s always someone that has it worse.

I slowly threw the covers off of my body, and sulked in my own thoughts for a moment. Quietly I made my way to Josh’s closet and grabbed one of his hoodies. I hadn’t noticed it was raining until now, funny. Honestly, I loved the rain and everything about it. It gives me peace, and a lot of time to think. That’s probably why I was so deep in thought, or maybe it was the soft bed. I don’t know.

Quietly, I walked around the room. I hadn’t noticed it before, but the picture of the two boys was gone. I rummaged through a sock drawer and sighed, there it was. The vintage looking picture was in my fingertips and I stared at it. Flipping it over there was no information on the back. Why does this guy look familiar?

This…little boy. Why don’t I remember him? I attempted to think of when I myself was a kid, but sighed, nothing. There’s never any good information when you need it. Sometimes I wished there was a safe where you could just replay memories. I cringed silently as I brushed my fingers over a box and felt myself go completely red. Some condoms. I quickly put the picture back and fixed the socks back into place.

I shook the item out of my mind and slowly stepped into the bathroom. A note was taped to the rather large mirror in neat handwriting.

Sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up, but I picked you up a pair of leggings and boots, the weather is cold today. Won’t be home until around 6:00 tonight, I don’t think you want to go to dinner in shorts do you?

• Josh
  I smiled at his note and took in a deep breath. When did he leave? I honestly thought that he was just downstairs talking or something. I was completely happy that he wasn’t anywhere inside the house when I seen those…condoms.
  I stepped into the shower, and hummed a Katy Perry song. I took my time in the shower, I mean it’s not like I need to rush. There was a large selection of shampoos and conditioners, but I decided on a plain strawberry scented one. Smiling at the smell, I massaged my scalp.
  I climbed out of the shower, and threw on the clothes, which consisted of a black pink! Long sleeve shirt, leggings and a pair of plain boots. I let my hair dry into it’s regular straight texture. It was really thin, so it dried pretty fast.
  After brushing my teeth I smiled at my reflection. I looked so much better than before. I mean, my bruises are healed, and my busted lip hasn’t even left a scar. A smile grew, not one of those, I’m alive smiles, a real genuine smile, one that actually showed my teeth.
  …
  “Look who’s finally awake!” Rena exclaimed, sitting on a couch bouncing Manon on her knee. I smiled at them and took a seat on a couch, I would have sat closer to her but there was a very large man sitting on the other.
  “Oh! I’m so so sorry! This is Chris, he’s a big baby and is almost too gay to function” Rena giggled and I smiled at the guy. He raised a hand and waved to me, before addressing me as Luna.
  He had messy blond hair, and brown eyes. A matte brown, not one of those hazel brown colors. They were warm, along with his smile that was too big for his face. His body was very large, and he was leaning against the back of the couch shirtless, I’ll admit his body was very attractive, but nothing near Josh’s.
  “Hay girl.” He rolled the R and I bursted into a laugh. His voice matched the typical gay stereotype. He clapped his hands and took Manon into his lap.
  Rena rolled her eyes at Chris and crossed her legs. “You look really nice, how are you feeling?” I wasn’t exactly sure how I was feeling, but I sure as hell was having a good day, “great, you?”
  “Busy, like always.” She lightly laughed and glanced at her child. A passionate smile grew on her face and I laughed at Manon’s giggle.
  “So, what are you guys doing?” I asked, glancing at a bowl of popcorn on the table and a Bottle.
  Chris answered before Rena could, “watching a mooovie, wanna join?” He patted the seat right next to him and wiggled his eyebrows. I shook my head and he frowned, covering himself up.
  “Yeah, I’ll watch it, what is it?”
  “I Am Sam.”
  “Oh.”
  By the time the movie was over, all three of us were sobbing and Manon was asleep and clueless. 4:00. Most of the younger kids were running through the house, none of them allowed in the kitchen because they’ll spoil their dinner. At least that’s what their parents said.
  I finally managed to stop crying, and giggled at Rena. “I’m such a baby!” Chris cried, “that could be me and my bae, but he’s so great!” He continued, listing weird things I’ve never heard of.
  “No your not!” I giggled and pulled my new friend into a hug. It was only obvious we’d be better friends than me and Rena, I mean Rena and I don’t have very much in common.
  I ruffled Chris’s hair and he light tapped my shoulder. I sniffed and laughed to myself and pushed Chris away from me.
  I got more comfortable once a new movie was put in, and I curled under the covers next to Rena and Chris.
  Dorabelle, now that was a movie worth watching, it was pretty scary though.